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QUACK QUACK QUACK

A dialogue between myself and the 49 killer ducks at the lake today:

A(standing for me): Mmm, what a lovely day, I have some stale bread here, I think I shall visit the ducks in the park and feed it to them.
D:(standing for any duck, they don't have individual names because they are EVIL): QUACK, bread, bread, bread, bread, bread, bread, bread.
--- 20 minutes later, arriving at the park ---
A: My my, there an awful lot of ducks about today aren't there.
D: QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Bread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's got bread, get the bread, get the bread, get the bread, get the bread. GET. THE. BREAD.
A: Here ducks, have some bread.
D: I want the bread. No I want the bread. Give ME the bread. I am going to peck you. Give me the bread. I want the bread. No, I want the bread!
A: Plenty of bread for everyone.
D: Quack quack quack, let's all descend on the bread lady.
A: Woah, where all the ducks coming from? They're everywhere. Argh. You can have the bread, take the bread, take the bread, just don't hurt me.
D: QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Peck, bread, bread, peck. QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.
A: Oh my god, there's one behind me. AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
D: QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK.
We only care about bread so give us the bread. BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

-FIN-

4 Comments:

  1. emma gambol said...
    oh my god - how did you escape?
    Amy said...
    shot them all down with my flamethrower.
    Richard said...
    When I went to Egypt, I had the cunning idea put a load of bread into an empty water bottle and use that to feed the fishies as I was snorkelling.

    Fishies are mean little bastards, I tell you, bit me all over, blood and everything. Surprised a shark did not get me.

    http://tinyurl.com/5zzc4y

    Your flame thrower would have been no use in such a situation as that.
    Amy said...
    well duh,

    of course they went wild, last time I checked, fish don't eat bread, give them something a bit nicer to eat and maybe they won't attack you!

    I'd attack you for instance if you started trying to feed me cheese.

    Know your audience.

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